The trauma of Life (tm)

Imogen and Genevieve got several board games for Christmas. They typically love/are obsessed with games, whether electronic (Wii, Nintendo DS), of the card variety (Go fish, Uno, etc.) or on a board of some kind. They received Battleship, which I left in Texas, and Life and Clue which I left in Missouri when I went to Texas.


But now that we're home, I'm expected to get these games out and teach them how to play them. Why didn't I foresee this? I have a long history of saying "No noisey electronic toys" and "No movies that make me want to drive an ice pick into my ears". So it's not as if I have no self preservation when suggesting for gifts for my children.


Yesterday we played Clue. The girls argued over who got to be Miss Scarlet so I decided that I got to be Miss Scarlet. The ruled declared that Miss Scarlet goes first. On my first turn I made it into the nearest room and got to suggest the who, where and with what of the murder. I asked them if they could prove me wrong. Nope, they both said. Are you sure, I said. Yes, they assured me. Are you sure, I said. They were sure. What are the chances that I guessed completely right on the very first turn? Not quite good enough apparently. "Oh you said the lounge?" Imogen said.


So today we played Life. I remember playing Life as a child and either I was playing it wrong or they've changed it up a bit and added new elements to game play. The rules were laid out on a three page book, front and back. Call me lazy, but doesn't that seem excessive? Genevieve cried often. When Imogen had a kid before she did. When Imogen had more kids than she did. When Imogen had more life cards than she did. And when I won the game entirely. I cheated excessively, but not to win. If I didn't like the square someone was about to land on, I "miscounted". Thus, Imogen didn't have to pay for college for her four children, Genevieve didn't have to pay taxes and got more raises than she should have, and I didn't get to sue anyone.

After the game was over, Genevieve knew she needed to stop crying in front of me, so she quietly slipped away to her room to cry alone. She returned just as I was done packing away the game with it's excessive number of tiny pieces. Life's hard on a little kid, I guess.