Monster

One thing about having Monster is that now I realize how well trained Zeus is. Zeus spends every waking moment worrying about us. He pays attention to everything we do, he follows us and is aware of when I slip on my flip flops (that means I might be leaving) or when I put things in my purse (also leaving) and his ears are tuned to the slightest jingle of keys (ACK! LEAVING!) If we are leaving, his first and foremost goal is to be taken with us. He is terrified that this might not happen. And he is beside himself with excitement when we arrive back home.

Monster is completely unaware of any of the above. It catches him completely off guard when he is scooped up and locked into the bathroom with Zeus.

Zeus is worried if anyone raises their voice, and he runs and hides under the furniture. Monster doesn't care. Zeus takes his watch dog duties very seriously and barks at me when I come home. Monster runs and hides. (???) Zeus goes to bed every night in the same place and stays there until Jeremy gets up and lets him outside. Monster wakes up some time in the middle of the night to pee by my door so that I can't leave the room without stepping in it. Zeus comes when called. Monster might, if he's in the mood. Zeus stresses out a lot. Monster is happy and friendly and mostly occupies himself with chewing on things or people or Zeus.

Part of me has always wondered if I am somehow responsible for what a neurotic stress case Zeus is. That somehow the type of dog owner that I am, the way that I treat dogs, has created his various mental health issues. Time will tell, I suppose, if I turn Monster into a raving psychopath, but so far he seems more relaxed and happy than I ever remember Zeus being.

Please leave a message after the beep...

I'm a terrible message-leaver.

Really. The voice mail comes on and suddenly I'm fumbling around, forgetting what I called for and repeating what little information I am able to retrieve out of my suddenly sluggish mind. It think it has to do with the fact that I'm never just talking on the phone. I'm on the phone and doing laundry, or doing a project for school, or driving somewhere (yes, I'm one of those evil women in a minivan on a cell phone). When I have someone on the phone, I get to pause and let them talk. When I'm leaving messages, there's just silence. And me... rambling.

I left Zach a message one time. It was something like, "Hi... It's Rachael... Um... I have your thing [I forget what the thing was]... So... um... if you want to meet me... I'll be in class.. but it's over at 8. But it starts at five, so I can meet you before then... or after, but I'm not home right now.... I'm on the other side of town, and I have to go get Imogen from school at 3:30 and then go to the grocery store... So I don't know when I'll be home.. So call me and we'll figure out where to meet... Or I can drop it off later... If you'll be home... Ok, talk to you later, bye!"

Zach called me back, "You leave terrible voice mails!"

Introducing...

This is Monster! He's a ten week Shih Tzu, a gift from my mother and step-father. He's the sweetest thing ever!

Birthdays

Imogen's birthday is this Friday, which she is handling with the composure of a lunatic in a rubber room. We were discussing and salivating (me the former, her the latter) about it in the car today and of course Genevieve wanted in on the action. Their birthdays are exactly six months apart which means as soon as one has her birthday, we can begin the countdown to the other's. Genevieve commented (again) that she would get to turn six.

I told her no, she is my baby and my baby is not allowed to turn six. She must turn four and then the following year, she can turn five, then four, five, on and on. I assured her between her protests that we would still give her the same amount of gifts so I really don't see what the big deal is.

She said, "You'll see, Mommy. You'll see." And then she cackled theatrically as if this was some kind of movie. As I was pondering what it would be like to be in a reality TV show with someone like her, she turned to Imogen and broke the spell with, "Won't she see Imogen? When it's my birthday and I turn six?"

That's just bad dialog, I thought.