Omniscient (or maybe just a good guesser)

I stepped out of the shower recently and as I dried off, I opened the bathroom door. Imogen was standing in the hallway. She stood there for a moment, and eventually the suspense became too much and she asked "What are you doing?"

"Getting dressed," I answered. I'm way to used to obvious questions to be alarmed at this point. There was a pause while she considered this.

"Will you close the door?" she asked. Now, maybe in Imogen's world this question is really smooth and subtle but to me this comes with red flags and alarm bells. Without missing a beat I said "You stole my candy didn't you?" I had milk duds on my dresser left over from going to the theater the night before. Her eyes widened. She stepped into the bathroom and looked in the mirror at her clean face. She looked back up at me.

"How did you know?" she was baffled.

"I'm a mommy," I said. "I know everything.

Today I gave her a poptart. She doesn't like poptarts, though she doesn't realize it yet. I warned her that she needed to eat the whole thing this time and she agreed. She ate about three quarters of it and I could tell she didn't want the rest. She kept carrying it around but she didn't want to say anything about it.

As I cleaned the kitchen, she vanished into the family room for a while. She came back empty handed and said "Look, I ate my whole poptart, all gone! See?" She held up her empty hands proudly.

"You fed it to the dog," I said without hesitation. Her jaw dropped. "How did you know??"

"I'm a mommy. I know everything." I told her.

"You're grounded from poptarts," I told her.

I got a haircut

My hair was getting super boring, and I was tired of it, but I didn't want to chop it all off so I got layers put in. She curled it and it's really pretty right now. I'm lazy so I probably won't be curling it on a daily basis, but hey. I love haircuts. My hair feels all healthy and lightweight now.

photo effects

We were playing around with some photo effects and the girls thought these were the funniest thing that ever happened anywhere. They would pose for the picture then laugh maniacally when I took it.

The man of steel

With the new Superman movie coming out, our cereal boxes have been graces with his presence and the girls are very curious. Genevieve is especially delighted with the explanation that Superman can not be hurt and you could hit him in the head with a baseball bat and he wouldn't even bleed. She repeats this to her sister each morning as she picks out her cereal. I'm not entirely sure she realizes that Superman is not a real person.

The girls have been spending a ton of time outside as the weather gets warmer. They will actually get in the kid pool and spend a couple hours playing in it. I walked out there to find Imogen standing on the porch beside it and throwing her arms out and saying "To infinity and beyond!!" and throwing herself into the pool. And Genevieve is actually getting over her water phobia.

Sometimes...

When my children put plastic bags on their heads... I begin to doubt their future as Mensa candidates.

Long time no see...

Today we went to the "no touching store", known to the world at large as Hobby Lobby. Imogen shmoozed with the old ladies in the fabric section, convincing them that she could do no wrong. (HA!) They heaped me with compliments on thier behavior and horror stories about other people's children.

I always loved Hobby Lobby. I bought them water colors as a reward.

It's kind of sad though that when your child happens to not be in brat-mode at the moment (and every child is capable of being a perfect terror) you get all these compliments. This is so unusual! A kid who's not painful to be around!

Take Genevieve for example. We walked in this evening and lunch dishes were still on the table. Jeremy commented "So, Genevieve, you didn't eat your sandwich?" Good guess, seeing as how Genevieve sometimes acts like she's allergic to food in general.

"No," she said, "I ate mine. Imogen didn't eat her's."
"No," Imogen spoke up, "That one is your's. I ate mine."
Genevieve turned to Imogen and very reasonably shreeked "NOO!! I ATE MINE!!! STUPID!!!"

Really, as if it's inconcievable that the child who believes that little girls certainly CAN live on bread alone would pass on some thus polluted with peanut butter.

My five year old poos in odd places

Like the corner of the back porch. Seriously. I missed a very important step in the how-to-potty-train process I think.

I was at Target yesterday and I saw a shirt that was Genevieve's. I mean, I don't think the people who designed it know Genevieve, but if they had been told to design a shirt for Genevieve, they would have made this one. It has a stick man on it and says "I do all my own stunts". Jeremy thinks it's the funniest thing in the world. I think it's incredibly appropriate, and in the less than 24 hours since I bought the shirt "Genevieve did another stunt" has been added to the household vocabulary.

Say cheese...

These are just three of the 34 pictures I found on my camera that I did not take. All taken from a low eye level. Still, they show an increasing level of interest in capturing a subject (the colored pencils for example), though there's still plenty of random blurry shots of the room with no particular item in focus. Imogen is particularly proud of these and continues to try to get me to commit to an age when they can have cameras of their own. "How about when I'm six? Seven? Can I have one when I'm seven?"

Lame...

Sometimes my conversations with my kids sound like those really lame jokes you get off the backs of instant oatmeal packages. The ones that make you wince instead of laugh. Take this one for instance...

Imogen: "Why are you painting your toenails again?"
Me: "They need another coat." (of nailpolish)
Imogen: "Oh, to keep them warm?"
Me: "No-"
Imogen: "Oh, I know, because they are going outside."
Me: "No, it's just to make the color show up better."
*long pause*
Imogen: "When I'm a mommy do you think my toenails will need another coat?"
Me: "Sure."
Imogen: "Yeah, to make them warm and cozy."

Happy meal induced frenzy

Today when Jeremy picked up me and Imogen from school and Genevieve from day care he said he was hungry and wanted to drive through. I told the girls we would get them happy meals. The girls were very excited of course. Nothing beats a happy meal. Steak dinner? No thanks, pass the chicken nuggets made out of the tail. Sushi? Not if it doesn't come with a cheap toy depicting characters in the latest Disney flick?

Or as Imogen put it "Happy meal!! Happy meal!! Happy meal!! I'm spazzing out!!"

Lucy the ladybug...

Today we burried Lucy the ladybug in a tiny grave in the back yard. She was only with us for a few hours before she died. This is the first pet that Genevieve has lost, and it was very tragic for several minutes.

Imogen tried to console her sister with suggestions that she find a new ladybug and name it Lucy, but Genevieve said she would name it Peter instead. Lessons were not learned here.

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Pink eye again!

Imogen woke up with a raging case of pink eye yesterday. She had to miss a field trip to the zoo with school. Her eyes are badly swollen and nasty gunky. I had to get up past midnight last night to clean them up because she couldn't open them. I'm going to be SO mad if I get it because that will mean that the germs just LEPT from her face onto mine. I won't touch my face with my hands and I wash them like I'm going to perform brain surgury every time I mess with her eyes. Need... lotion... On the other hand, Genevieve has no such qualms and I'm beginning to think that if she rubbed her eyes directly onto Imogen's, she wouldn't get it. Two encounters with pink eye in the last month or so and she hasn't gotten anything.

I really hope this goes away quickly or we're going to run out of the teeny tiny smidgen of eyedrops I got charged $50 for. Grrr...

sorry no updates for a while

No, Genevieve isn't that tall compared to Imogen. I had her stand on a stepstool so I wouldn't have just her forehead in the picture. :)

BOOOORING!

The girls are in deep doodoo. Yesterday between stealing cookies and vandalizing the dog's dinner (again), they managed to fight constantly and paint the bathroom (and Genevieve's face) with mascara. (This is but a partial list of crimes.)

So, they're in trouble today. Besides being grounded from sweets and movies and... something else, I forget... they have to sit in their little blue chairs all afternoon. We got home around 12:30 and will not leave here untill around 5. That's four and a half hours. A long time to sit and do nothing, even for an adult. For two squirmy kids, this is torment.

I like it. It's long and painful, but not physically. It's slow and monotinous, it just drags on and on. They aren't allowed to stand up. They cheat and move the chairs around a bit but they know better than the leave my presence. They aren't allowed toys so they have the most inane conversations, like listing all the places they want to sleep some day. "I want to sleep in a tent some day. I want to sleep in a water bottle some day." They play stupid games like blowing in each other's faces, and stomping on each other's feet. They ask constantly what time it is. Genevieve gets excited every time the second hand gets to the five, but Imogen reitterates that that doesn't mean it's 5:00.

Imogen was upset on the way home when she was told how she would spend her afternoon. I reminded her of all the things she was grounded from.

Crying, she said "Just because we're grounded doesn't mean you have to NOT let us!"

I said "Actually, that's exactly what it means."

Still crying, she said "I need lots of hugs."

Watching her, Genevieve tried to muster up some tears.

Pretend bathrooms

The girls recieved a playhouse for Genevieve's birthday this last year. It's very cute and very nice with a little doorway and window and a porch and everything. The girls love to play outside in it. All kinds of pretending happens. Today they decided to pretend they had a bathroom in thier little playhouse. The only thing on hand was a couple of buckets from thier sandbox. No problemo, apparently. They may have been pretending, but we found REAL pee in the buckets. I told Imogen I was baffled. She agreed that it was indeed very baffling.

Cuteness

My daughter belongs in the seventh circle of fashion hell

This is thier idea of feeding the dog